I am back to my mind...

"My world and my life cant be called nothing but Twisted!...so no wonder why i am crazy...So let my introduce u to my twisted life!"...That was my description back in Dec. 2006...But things have changed...

Friday, November 17, 2006

A Walk 2 Remember....


I heared abt this film b4 i saw it alot...i didnt get the chance to see it in da cinema but then it statred to come in da T.V. ....Something like da first 3 times i watched da film i saw it only from da middle...i never knew that this was actually da film "a walk 2 remember"...when i saw it then all of it from da beginning till da end i cried more than anytime i watched it...wat if i was put in such situation?wat if a dear person to me jst died...?how wud i feel...
i started thinking abt it and things ended up with me writing this poem:


Tears falling from my eyes
Slowly crawling on my face till each and every one dies
Telling the story of my life
From the day I met you till you stabbed me with a knife
My heart cracks open
Telling me not to stay broken
Trying to convince me that you just got caught
Got caught by death and it wasn't your fault
I cut myself although I ain't dumb
I do it just to feel as I turned to be numb!
Since the day u left away
I can't feel what is happening around…the same happens every day
I sit wondering why you left me alone
We planned to stay together forever but then you were gone
I close my eyes and still I see you infront of me
I try to get out but still you are the only thing I can see
Every breath I take makes me feel you are still here
Every time I remember you I realize how much you were dear
And now my life is empty….. it's like hell
You are raising up high with you wings and I fell
I fell down on the ground after we shared our dream
Now I see the reality…that you are dead…and this is when I scream
After days I went running to your grave
This was the time when I felt I started to be brave
But then I saw your name written and I read the date
That's when I realized:" he's dead….my soulmate!"
That's when I went down on my knees
Wishing that you wud forgive me…please
Forgive me for each and every second I didn’t say I love you
I thought we'd have all the time to say it later..I thought we'll get through
I miss you in every single way
And I wish to get you back even for a single day
My tears are running down like wild
And soon I'll be turning blind
But I don’t care as I will always see
I will see you infront of me and feel again free
At last my tears finished telling the story
And now everything ended even the glory
At last I want to thank you dear
For every second you held me near.

My poems!

So i finally thought i shud upload one of my poems on my blog!
i started writing when i was first in 8te.klasse and it went on till now..(although i didnt write anything since a while actually)bas i thought i mite share with u some of my old and fav. poems....

No matter how many stars are filling da night
No matter how much they are shinning so bright
Only in ur eyes I c the perfect light
No matter how sad am I
No matter how much I wanna cry
I forget all that as I realize..u r my guy!
Cuz in ur eyes I can see my madness
Cuz in ur arms I can wash away my sadness
No greater gift was sent to me from up above
It was you baby with all da luv!
All the love I need all the love I wished for
Every single wish u granted 4 me and so much more
I remember walking hand in hand
I remember how I wrote ur name several times on da sand
All the memories that xsist in my head for real
Make me know how much ur xsistence lingers here
No matter how far u might be
In your calls you set me all again free
Through da warmness I feel in ur voice
Making me have no other choice
But to fall all over again in love with you
Knowing how much my dreams can cum true
I felt the softness of the flower
I felt the storm with its power
But still nothing could be compared with wat I feel
When I know that u r for real
Our love is something so right
So let's enjoy our luv without a single fight
But I don’t need to tell u this
Cuz u told me that your happiness lies in my bliss

Learned it da hard way...There IS comfort in da truth!

Well i have been writing abt nothing important on my blog lately...its jst dat nothing really attached me and made me think and want to write...life has been jst goin on in a way i am not used to...simply cuz i have no time to get connected to da "outside world"!...i know nothing beside wats goin on in skool and with my frnds..more than this...dont expect me to know anything!
but then jst a couple of mins ago i was having this conversation with nada...she had a personal msg on her account saying "there's no comfort in da truth"...and i was jst thinking abt that... let me jst copy paste this part of da conversation:

It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
well i believe there is comfort in da truth
Nada says:
no..the comfort is always in ur dreams and wishes
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
no...its better than to live in a world of ur dreams and hit to reality marra wa7da
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
to knw da truth of any situation is always da best
Nada says:
yea..a world of ur dreams is a comfortable world, bt it is always deceiving u
Nada says:
mayb bcoz u hit to reality marra wa7da..mayb that's y it's nt comfortable..
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
yeah thats why its always better to kw da truth
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
its at least a bit comforting than hittin back to it suddenly
Nada says:
u'r right of course..it stupid to rely on dreams akid..
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
yeah and beside dathow long can u live in a dream?
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
it will never be forever
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
da truth mite be hard but if u get ud to it u will be thankful dat u at least knw it
Nada says:
yea..u'r right..dreams shouldn't b a basic..bt without them one wdn't b able to have hope in life
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
yeah dats right i agree
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
a person shud have dreams but t live in them
Nada says:
and the smartest of us r those who try to make their lives look like their dreams..of course nt exactly..bt nearly
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
yeah
Nada says:
akid i dont mean live the dreams y3ni..i mean achieve their wishes in their dreams
It's REAL LOVE dat u donno abt says:
yeah i understand

So u see we both came to da same conclusion...da chat with nada jst reminded me of several ppl who insisted on hiding da truth from me...thinking it will be more comforting..and when it was hightime to reveal da truth...and i found everything out...i was devastated!!!!!
why cant some ppl not understand it is better to say da whole truth jst da time when it is supposed to be said?!
I learned it da hard way but i at least knw it now....it is always better to knw da truth then living jst in dreams that ppl faked for u!
so for da ppl who still didnt figure that out...plz try to be more honest and frank...it will prevent much more trouble!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Thanaweya Entlassungsfeier


I was happy to hear abt it at first...then the whole thing with formal clothes and such stuff made me not that excited...or even depressed(as some of my frnds knw how much i am an anti-formal-clothes gurl!...i jst feel more myself in a jeans and a top!)well then i found da perfect out fit right 5 min b4 i went to da skool...by that time i wasnt excited khales abt goin....but when i saw everyone...i was jst sooo happy!
i dont understand why herr Baab had to talk all that abt da problems it was jst a not ni da right time(but afterwards we talked with him and it was like its da "egyptian mentality" 2 4get everything in celebration times and he had to mention it in order to let da next genererations have a better chance...watsoever!)and then da guy from da embassy talked alot too and Frau dr. Hoda issa...and Herr mounir...well da shortest of all was his speech...
I LOVED da slideshow hoda did for dat event it was jst soo gud and i rly had alot of memories coming to my mind with all those pics...
when they all came on stage...i was soo happy they all passed and finished skool and i sumhow didnt believe that in less than a year..I will be da one who's standing up there!(isA isA isA ya3ni!)
It was jst gr8....i hope they all have a bright future and a gr8 life...cuz they deserve it!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Lost...Tired...and ready to give up!

No wonder this is da way i feel right after da maths exam...it jst sucked....constantly crying during da exam...having da worst headache ever...jst tired and i dont wanna remember that day till da rest of my life!....but maybe i will be forced to remember it...jst titled with da day..i was ready to give it all up!
i will certainly fail in this exam...without a doubt...da chemie exam too for sure...lets jst hope i will be lucky once again and achieve da impossible and pass in da german exam...will i be able then to pass that endless school year and jst join da university nxt year?!
i wud probably do sth to myself if i didnt pass...honestly ya3ni...i cud never imagine staying in this skool for one more year...without my frnds...and beside all that..i cant ever imagine joinin da college da same year as my 2-years-younger sis!
uffffffff!i am really sick and tired of this skool!
i jst wanna close my eyes and fade away....!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

No matter wat....this will stay my fav. song FOREVER!

My Last Breath - Evanescence
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black
On Fallen - track 10 - released 2003.Lyrics © Amy Lee / Ben Moody.

NO comment! :(

I really do!

Friday, November 03, 2006

A chat with a problem solver!

wat if u received an email from a stranger telling u i can help u out in most of the problems u have and so on and i u dnt have to tell me who u r and i will do my best to help......
well that is not a daily experience for sure..thats why it was pretty much interesting for me...
since i am a very curious person...i jst cudnt let go of it...i added the stranger and we had a long interesting chat...sit back...enjoy reading..and tell me wat u thnk!

^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
hello there.
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
hey
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
how r u?
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i'm gud
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
how r u?
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
i am fine
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
so may i knw from where u got my email and da other emails of da ppl i knw
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
and if u can reveal ur "mysterious identity"
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i duno you and i duno any of ur friends.!
i did a search for emails and i came up with 2000 emails which u happen to be one of.
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
search da 3ala 2asas eih ya3ni
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
to let ppl know about me.
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
aywa from where did u get da email aslan
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i look at forwarded msgs to my personal email and found millions of ppl i dunno
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
i see
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
and who r u
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
besara7a ya3ni i dont want any1 to know who i am....
so u can call me anything u like
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
well tell me how many ppl replyed to that email u send
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
and how many ppl added u
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
and why do u guess anyone will tell u anything especially that we donno who u r aslan
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i started forwarding last week and i got 15 adds and 7 replys
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
listen... u dont have to tell me who u r aslan law mish 3ayez.. i'm here to help those who want help... and i got ppl askin me for it.. and i'm happy with helping them.... malhash lazma el ta72ee2 dah we taree2et kalamak.. i just want to help... we sada2ny i was surprised en fy nas gatly 3alatool teshkeely.. as if they'v been waiting for sum1 to offer help.!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
and all of them thought dat ur crazy walla kan lesa fieh nas that r okay with wat u do and actually talked to u?!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
first of all i am a female
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
oh.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
sorry
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
yes ppl talked to me and complained and where happy to talk to me.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
so i dont expect any1 to come talk to me like this.!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
second thing i am not critisizing wat ur doin yet cuz i dont understand wat u r doin aslan
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
then y r u talkin to me like u want to kill me??
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
well then plz dont think u r sth if u cant take hard talking.u cant jst think that everyone will talk to u nice da first time or do u?!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
kill you??
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i do
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
wow a big word actually to say
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
because i'm not asking for masla7a.. i just wanna help
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
listen
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i wanna help and i;d be more tha nahppy to do so with u
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
why is that?
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
excuse me but thats a very stupid question.!?
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i like helping! is there a why in this?
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
why r u talking to me like this?
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
so ur planning to help sumone by telling them that wat they're asking is stupid!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
wow gr8 way to talk
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
listen..!!!
either ur pissed at sum1 probably ur bf and ur getting it out on me.... (if so tell me ha2adar and talk properly.!)
or u just like arguing.?!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i dont have attitude. i give it to those who talk to me with atitude.!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
or u give it to those who u dont understand and are afraid from
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
me afraid.!!!
i solve problems, not creat them.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
listen.. we shouldnt even be arguing.!
why did u talk to me like that in the first place.!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
and sorry but if i am pissed from my bf he is da one who has to deal with it not anyone elso i wud simply go for da second choice
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
let me ask u a question: u seem to get angry easily is that right?!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i'm not pissed by the way even though i sound like it.!
i'm just tryin to get mypoint through
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
hmm maybe u can get ur point thru by NOT sounding like it??
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i would if u dont
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
dont wat?
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
if u dont talk to me like ur pissed.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
thats how u'v sounded right from the start.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
excpet the how r u part.
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
pissed??tell me why wud i be?!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
go bak up and read how u asked me questions?
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
and all of them thought dat ur crazy walla kan lesa fieh nas that r okay with wat u do and actually talked to u?!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
and why do u guess anyone will tell u anything especially that we donno who u r aslan
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
search da 3ala 2asas eih ya3ni
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
to let ppl know about me.
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
aywa from where did u get da email aslan

^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
wow a big word actually to say...
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
do i go on.!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
i knw wat i said u dont have to copy it
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
? k
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
so...
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
how about we start all over witha better tone?
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
my tone is gd actually i ws jst wondering if u can actually handle a person who is pissed from sth else and throw it all on u..but it seems like u cant
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
wat if sumone as anoying as i was added u and talked to u this way
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i can if i know ur not mad at me.!! but it seemed that u were mad at me it sounded like "enty shayfa nafsek eih" so thats why i talked like tht
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
shudnt u be a bit calmer
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i dint say u were annoying.! ur not
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
u meet sumone for da fisr time!how can they be angry from u!!there has to be sth else and as a problem solver u have to figure it out
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
WOW.1!!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
dont think everything will be told u like it is jst that way
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i'm a problem solver ya,, but also a human.!
i'm not psychiatrist.!
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
ppl will still fake it cuz they dnt wanna admit it
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
then how else can i solver problems.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i'm not a friend, i'm not an enemy, i'm not a freak, i'm not a mind reader... i'm a listen and a problem solver.! u dint tell me ur problem we bada2ty te7a2a2yly, so how do i know is it me and the idea of wat i'm doin. or is it sum1 else.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
look....
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
lets stop all this... and start all over again...
enty 3aneeda awi just like me...
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
deal?
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
well i can only start over again under one condition
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
which is?
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
to knw hw old u r and ur gender
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
that would be included in the starting all over, but anyway...
.
.
.

It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
first i want to knw why r u doin this..how did u come up with it ya3ni
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
bosy ya sety.!
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i've been through many things in life.... problems wara problems.. until i learned how to start solving them and dealing with them... then i started remembering the days that i wasnt able to solve them and couldnt find any1 to help.. so i thought maybe there are ppl who still cant find help.! so why dont i offer one since i've been famous in skool as problem solver..
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
my experiences could help me in helping others... as i intented to study girls and boys different ways of thinking
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
and one more question plz..wat u do is a bit outstanding and weird plus u seem to be not that busy to have time to reply on everyone sa7 wala eih
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i'm chattin with 4 ppl but i wiat until each one finished they'r whole story 3ashan afham and then i read and help
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
so basically ya i'm not busy
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
dont u have other important things to do in life ya3ni(dnt take my question in a negative way its jst direct)
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i dint take it negative.. many ask me that
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
well i finish everything i had to do and then come online at night to check mails and talk
It's REAL LOVE...dat u donno abt! says:
hmm dont u have better things to do after u finish??talking on da fone goin out with frnds watching tv
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
after going out with friends and studying and stuff i come on...
i'm not a phone person nor am i a TV person
^_^ PrObLeM___SoLvEr ^_^ (need a listener??) (i'm here) says:
i either go out or chat
.
.
.
Well da chat continued on...and i got to know who she really is...but i wont tell u this part cuz i promised this person i wont reveal her identity to anyone...interesting chat...and an interesting experience..cudnt believe that there is anyone who wud do such thing...but it turned out there is actually...wat do u think?!leave a comment!